These tips are included as bonus tips in the book, but not necessarily given much detail in the book. Continued from tip 96: Deal with problems in getting chores done by setting a good example of being industrious and responsible…
102. …and having a policy of never doing a child’s job for him…
103. …and using a chart to help motivate the child…
104. …and giving the child praise and rewards for success…
105. …and never using the assignment of work as a punishment…
106. …and having a policy of not paying the child for regular chores.
107. When the child uses mealtime in a power struggle with parents, the parents can get the upper hand by following a few simple rules. When a child doesn’t come to eat when called, the rest of the family should go ahead and eat. If there’s anything left when the tardy child comes, he can eat it―cold…
108. …If a child doesn’t want to eat what you’ve served, don’t fix something else. Let him eat what you’ve fixed or go hungry…
109. …If a child doesn’t want to try a new food, don’t try to force him. But he gets no seconds or dessert until he tries a bite or two of the new food…
110. …If a child wastes food, give him smaller servings, both for firsts and for seconds…
111. …If a child spills or has some other kind of accident, don’t get upset. Have him clean it up and continue with your meal…
112. …If a child misbehaves at the table, take him to another room, where he must stay for five minutes…
113. …If a younger child throws food, put a drop cloth under him. If an older child, who knows better, throws food, take his plate away from him. He’s finished eating until the next meal…
114. …If a child dawdles over his plate, clear the table, including the slowpoke’s plate, when everyone else is finished with the meal.
115. To deal with lying, consistently reward children for telling the truth, and never reward them for lying…
116. …If you know the child has done something wrong, confront him with it. Don’t open the door for a lie…
117. …Don’t try and drag the truth out of the child if you suspect he’s lying. Just tell him how you feel: “I feel you’re not being honest with me about this”….
118. …Never call a child a liar when he’s telling how he feels. That will encourage dishonesty about feelings…
119. …Don’t put the label of liar on your child. That will give him a bad reputation to live up to…
120. …If your child lies to impress others, that suggests he’s having a problem with his feelings of self-esteem. That self-esteem, not the lies, is what you’ll want to start working on…
121. …If your child starts to lie excessively because he fears punishment, you can know that there’s a problem with how you’re treating him. It’s time to take a close look at your relationship with the child…
122. …Teach your child how important honesty is in our society. From day to day, point out examples of people being honest (they’re all over) and show how you value that trait…
123. …Be honest yourself. Let your child know you as someone who doesn’t believe in lying and who tries to be honest in all his dealings.
124. If a child wets the bed, spanking will only damage the parent-child relationship. Instead resign yourself to having a wet bed until the child is old enough to want to control his bedwetting―and able to follow through on that desire…
125. …When the child shows some signs of nighttime control, you may want to take him out of a diaper and put him in underpants. Explain that you’re going to let him wear “big boy” pants, and that he’ll want to keep them dry. This doesn’t work miracles, but it does help with many children…
126. …Some parents have successfully motivated their children to quit wetting the bed by giving them an inexpensive toy or treat each time the child has a dry night. Others have achieved results by putting a sticker star on the calendar after each dry night. The key is to help the child want to improve…
127. …Attach a logical consequence to bedwetting. The child can take the wet sheets off the bed and put them where they go. If he fails to do that, he’ll have to sleep on a wet bed that night. An older child can clear off the wet bed and put on clean sheets. And a still older child can clear off and make the bed and wash the wet linens as well…
128. …If you have the money, you may wish to purchase an alarm buzzer to wake your child when he wets…
129. …Buy the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. Although the book’s method is not infallible, it does give a number of very good techniques…
130. If the problem of bedwetting persists beyond the age of seven or eight, you may wish to check with a doctor. Your child may be suffering from a physical problem.
131. To deal with anger, start by understanding that anger is usually the expression of some other emotion, such as frustration, disappointment, resentment, or fear. Help the child identify and deal with that emotion…
132. …Let your child know it is okay to feel angry; everyone does from time to time. But it is not okay to express that anger in a hostile way…
133. …By example, show your child that anger is not the best way to respond to anger…
134. …Show your child constructive ways of dealing with anger. For example, you can send I-messages about how you feel when you’re angry…
135. …When you child is having a hard time and shows it through anger, let him know you’re on his side, and that you’re willing to help…
136. …Realize that the best time to teach your child about anger is after the anger has been diffused, not while it’s still in full force.
137. When children tease, it’s generally to get attention. Parents can remove themselves from the children…
138. …or put the children in separate rooms…
139. …or if the child’s need for attention is real, give him some. But not at the time of the teasing…
140. …or see if the children are bored―then give them something to do.
141. If children are roughhousing, give them one chance to settle down. If they don’t, give them a time-out for five minutes….
142. …or read a story those who quiet down…
143. …or, if the children aren’t hurting anything and it’s really your problem, limit them to a room or two to do their roughhousing in―or send yourself to your room.
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